| This is life, not heaven. You don't have to be perfect |
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| It's been a long time. Shouldn't'a left you... |
[20 Feb 2006|02:14pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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So it's been a while. Lots of shit has gone down. Finally feel like I'm on the right track mentally.
I had to put my dog down on Saturday. I'm really sad, but dealing with it a hell of a lot better than I thought I would. I kind of feel bad about not feeling fucking shitty all the time. Is that weird? I feel like I should be constantly sad because I miss him so much, but everything else seems to be going so well that it's hard. Maybe this was fate's way of trying to keep me ok about the whole thing. Everything else bad was fixed in my life to make this decision not so hard to deal with. I don't know. Does any of that make sense? I miss him horribly though. The house is so damn empty and I constantly hear him even though it really isn't him. I was there for it. I was the one who took him there and had to leave him. That was the worst part..leaving. I almost couldn't do it. But I couldn't stay there forever. I would have.
Ok I'm out. I had to update about him because I miss him so much. I'll talk to you all either soon or in another couple of months. Later, and don't miss me too much.
Thought. I actually fell asleep in class today. I've never done that. It was fucking weird because I would start to dream and then I could feel my head falling and I'd almost wake up so I knew that I was in class but I couldn't open my eye for anything. SO I left at break. I couldn't do another hour and a half of that class. OK bye.
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| I'm sensitive and I'd like to stay that way. |
[06 Dec 2005|09:39pm] |
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mood |
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 crazy |
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Jenn Grinels/Ani-Evolve |
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you are BETTE! you've got an established career, a
significant other, and ethnicity that no one
can define. you're also fairly hot!
Which Character from The L Word are You???
brought to you by Quizilla
Originally when I took this I got Jenny. Well, I sure as hell don't want to be Jenny and I don't consider myself Jenny, so I took it again. I don't really want to be Bette, but whatever.
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| Today's the first day of my life. |
[09 Oct 2005|07:58pm] |
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mood |
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 working |
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music |
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Bright Eyes |
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I got a job at The Planet!!! I'm so excited! I start training tomorrow before I go to work at Toon Shop and my life is going to be crazy busy from now until I start training actually start working at the Planet. I'll only work there on Thursdays but I'm still working there and that makes me so unbelievably happy!!!
I move out of my apartment and into my parents house in two weeks from today. Ugh. For the most part it should be ok except for when my mother is a raging bitch. I'm going to do my best to make it work for the next year. Wish me luck.
Later.
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| What I calls enterprise, popping pussies into pies. |
[19 Sep 2005|05:26pm] |
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mood |
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 disappointed |
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music |
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Sweeney Todd |
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I'm just so damn sick of school. I just want to either get it fucking done and over with or just fucking leave. I truly don't think school is for me. I'm just not cut out for the work. Call me lazy, but I'm not. And I don't want be one of those people who go part time and finish after six or seven years and only come out with an associates degree. I don't want to be in school forever. My dream is to own a coffeehouse and I really don't need to go to school for that. Yeah, I might need things like accounting and what not, but I can do that. I don't have to get a degree. I'll just work in a coffeehouse and learn everything there is to learn about it. That's what Libby and Nikole did. I'm sure it will be hard, but I just can't put up with all the stress and pain that comes with school. It's not something I'm all that willing to put up with. I was never taught good study skills and now that I need to really do well in school I don't have the discipline that it takes. This is fucking ridiculous! I was always so much happier when I didn't need to worry about it.
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| 'cause blue eyes you're all that i need. 'cause blue eyes you're the nice to my mean. |
[15 Sep 2005|08:31am] |
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mood |
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 discontent |
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music |
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Garden State soundtrack |
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I saw Laura this weekend and it was really nice. She helped me with a few things that I needed to get out of the way and now that they're out of the way I think the dreams will stop. The past few weeks I've been dreaming about the same person over and over again. I do believe it's because there is so much that hasn't been said and so many questions I need to ask. I need some kind of closure; need to know why. It really isn't fair. I'm the one that was always there. Where are you? You won't even give me respect enough to tell me what I did wrong. But if that's how it's going to be then I guess I have no other choice but to accept your decision. I think you could have at least looked at me when you saw me.
I'm sitting in my computer class pondering if anything is worth it. In the end, I realize that it is worth all the trouble, but all the reward will come after lots of work. Ugh. Work, how I loathe thee.
I'm out. Later all.
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| She's listening through the air shaft to see how long our swan song can last. |
[12 Jul 2005|08:57pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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Ani DiFranco |
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So Laura's brother's wife had their baby this morning. Three thirty this morning. Laura sent me a text saying that the baby was born and all and I wanted her to do that, I just didn't realize I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep after that. I worked ten and a half hours today, which to some people might not be much to complain about, but when you spend it all in the hot sun on your knees that hurt like hell, it sucks a lot.
Pat and I went and played a little softball last night, which is why my knees hurt and my back is really sore. It was so much fun!!!
Ok I'm out. Love you all! xoxoxo
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| I said what you wanted to hear. |
[05 Jul 2005|09:49pm] |
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mood |
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 apathetic |
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music |
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Ben Folds Five |
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Meow? Meow. Meeeeeeooooooow!!!
Ok so I don't have anything to say. I'm a little broke..I think...Trying to fill out an online student loan application is kinda hard when you don't know all the information and your father is getting ready to go to bed. Hopefully I can get it finished tomorrow afternoon and send it in and get my loan! Woot!
Out.
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| But I won't be your good for now. So don't say you love me when you don't know how. |
[22 Jun 2005|03:12pm] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
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music |
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Phantom/ Jenn Grinels |
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The only thing I think of when I think of last summer is how much I miss you. We were all but inseparable, hanging out almost every day and talking for hours on end. What happened? You told me wherever you went, I had to go too. You told me that I was the most important person in your life. What happened? I would have given my life for you. How can you throw that away so easily? I haven't heard from you for weeks and you show no sign of wanting to change that. Why? Where did you go? And have you changed so much that I won't recognize and appreciate you when you come back? Is it worth waiting around for anyway? Seems like it shouldn't be, since you don't seem to care. But I can't help myself. I'll be here when you come around and need me. I'll do what I can, because as you said, I am the only one who truly stays.
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[16 Jun 2005|10:17am] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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music |
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Tipping the Velvet in the background |
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Emo Kid
You are 28% Rational, 42% Extroverted, 42% Brutal, and 42% Arrogant. |
You are the Emo Kid, best described as a quiet pussy! You tend to be an intuitive rather than a logical thinker, meaning you rely more on your feelings than your thoughts. Not only that, but you are introverted, gentle, and rather humble. You embody all the traits of the perfect emo kid. You are a push-over, an emotional thinker, gentle to the extent of absurdity, and so humble that it even makes Jesus puke. If you write poetry, you no doubt write angsty, syrupy lines about depression, sadness, and other such redundant states of emo-being. Your personality is defective because you are too gentle, rather underconfident in yourself, decidely lacking in any rational thought, and also a bit too inhibited.
I probably made you cry, didn't I? Fucking Emo Kid.
To put it less negatively:
1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.
2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.
3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.
4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.
Compatibility:
Your exact opposite is the Smartass.
Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hippie, the Televangelist, and the Starving Artist.
*
*
If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.
The other personality types:
The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant. |
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My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 12% on Rationality |
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You scored higher than 43% on Extroversion |
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You scored higher than 48% on Brutality |
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You scored higher than 43% on Arrogance |
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This is so not true!!! Humble..? Yeah right!!! Gentle? Sometimes. Introverted? Whatever.
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[13 Jun 2005|09:59pm] |
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mood |
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 restless |
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music |
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Howie Day |
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| So you wanted to take a break, slow it down some and have some space. Well fuck you too! |
[08 Jun 2005|02:33pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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music |
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Ben Folds Five |
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So I'm working at the pool. I love it so much! I am so glad I'm not at the mall anymore and those fuckers can kiss my ass. I have a great tan, I get to work outside and it's great. The only bad thing, which might get to be a bit of a problem, is my co-workers. They are all about 17 and are so fucking immature, it's driving me crazy! I get to hear the wonderful words 'fag' and 'that's gay' all the time and if it doesn't get taken care of soon then I'm going to have to kill someone to make an example of what happens when one pisses me off. Maybe at the next guard meeting I should just say 'ok everyone, this is a problem and if it doesn't get fixed soon then I'm going to have to kill whoever pisses me off next.' So yeah...I don't really have a whole lot to say right now.
Laura is coming over in a little bit and I'm excited. It's really good to hang out with her now. I was afraid this summer was going to be really hard because I would want to hang out with her but could deal with her being around and all that, but seeing her is really nice. We have fun.
Ok I'm out. Have a good day all. xoxoxo
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| On sleepless roads the sleepless go. My angels lead you in. |
[25 May 2005|11:44am] |
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music |
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Jimmy Eat World |
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Done with the mall, start at the pool on Sunday, sunburn is going away, and I am scraping for money for the first time in my life. Thank goodness for book buy backs! At least now I can pay for gas.
The song lyric is from Jimmy Eat World. It makes me sad because it's a song that Ian, Kristen's brother use to play and his father played it at Ian's funeral. I'm currently trying to learn how to play it myself.
Later days.
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| I wanna tell you everything. I want to make your toes curl. |
[20 May 2005|04:12pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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music |
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Jewel |
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Yeah, that's weird...I am not a cyborg...but whatever...I dunno.
I go do some of my pool stuff tonight and I'm excited! I only have two more days at the mall!!!!!!! Hallelujah! *angels fly 'round my head and the suns peaks out of the clouds* Life is nice right now!
I saw Laura the other day. It was really good to see her.
Ok I'm out. Later kids!!!
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| I'm dumb she's a lesbian...We're good as married in my mind, but married in my mind's no good. |
[12 May 2005|10:31am] |
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 cheerful |
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music |
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Weezer |
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So my birthday was on Tuesday and it was wonderful thanks to all my friends! A bunch of us hung out at The Planet and partied like it was 1999! Woot. Ok I'm a little weird, I know...but you still love me!
My mom bought me a littel Eeyore stuffed animal that is so cute and cuddley and she bought me an Eeyore shirt that says Cheerful Pessimist. She thinks I'm like Eeyore because she only hears me when I'm constantly bitching and a little grumpy. I also received the third Harry Potter movie, some glucosamine chondroitin for my joints, and the first season of Buffy (Nikole and Libby were going to buy that for me, though)! I only got through the first two episodes and fell asleep through the third, I was so tired.
I also got free dinner from Angela at The Planet, free peanut butter cheesecake and a latte from Libby and Nikole, and April got me Weezer's Pinkerton, which is really good! Thank you!!!
Ok I'm off to practice my guitar and then maybe even study some math since my final is on Monday. I didn't bomb my math test yesterday like I thought I would so that makes me really happy!!! Later days! xoxoxoxo
(I heard this from one of the DJ's on 96.5 the buzz) The only person who chose to love me also chose not to.
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| If I could find you now things would get better. |
[07 May 2005|01:26pm] |
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mood |
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 ditzy |
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music |
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Yellowcard |
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So I don't work until three. It's given me time to put some more music on my computer which is nice. I also watched part of Finding Neverland. Yeah, life is exciting! And I'm gonna stop while I'm ahead...er..something. Later kids! xoxoxoxo
[A] - Age you got your first kiss: 6th grade to a boy. I was his first kiss too. He ended up being gay, too. We always found that very amusing and told many stories about it.
[B] - Band listening to right now: Ani DiFranco/ Green Day
[C] - Crush: Um...a few...no names.
[D] - Dad's name: Robert Drew
[E] - Easiest person to talk to: I dunno. Each person has certain things about them that get me talking.
[F] - Favorite book: The Color Purple is climbing to the top...along with Girl, Interrupted
[G] - Gummy worms or gummy bears? Gummy worms
[H] - Hometown: Overland Park/Prairie Village, Ks
[I] - Instruments: guitar, piano (I play trombone but haven't touched it in almost a year)
[J]- Junior High: Mission Valley Middle School
[K] - Kids: absolutely wonderful! can be really annoying at times, though
[L] - Longest car ride ever: 30 hours over two days.
[M] - Mom's name: Linda Grace
[N] - Nicknames: Fuzzy, KK, K, Lesbian
[O] - One wish: I refrain from answering that question
[P] - Phobia[s]: Ghosts, spiders
[Q] - Quote: It's nice to see you and the memories that you brought. It's nice to see you and the battles that we fought. It's nice to see you. I've been missing home a lot. It's nice to see you. I tried to run but I got caught.
[R] - Reason to smile: love
[S] - Song last sang: Rodney Branigan
[T] - Time woken up [today]: eight thirty
[U]- Unknown fact about me: ...I have no idea.
[V] - Vegetable you hate: spinach
[W] - Worst habit(s): worrying, being dramatic.
[X]-rays: sadly no
[Y] - Yummy food: reese's peanut butter cups
[Z] - Zodiac sign: taurus
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kendralicious's journal
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